


The Wrong Trousers

by sirona



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Epistolary, Fluff, M/M, MeetCute, chatfic, flirting over text, just two boys falling for each other, long-suffering bff Bucky, taking atrocious liberties with the english language, txt spk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 04:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20324872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirona/pseuds/sirona
Summary: steveoh my godwhy do these things happen to me all the time, i don’t understand, am i cursed? do twinks imprint on me?buckyok i was full on prepared 2 yell at u 4 waking me but i gotta hear thissteveok so there i am minding my business omw to life drawing class when this guy full-out runs up to meand tells me to take off my pants





	The Wrong Trousers

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this last month and completely forgot about it because of thesis defence madness, so here it is now. Inspired by [that one story about the pants and chem lab](https://www.cbc.ca/radio/asithappens/as-it-happens-tuesday-edition-1.5100075/dude-i-need-your-pants-why-a-college-student-swapped-legwear-with-a-stranger-1.5100193) that was making the rounds earlier this year. It struck me as the perfect Steve/Tony meetcute, and you know, I still think it is. :)
> 
> Contains outrageous txt spk, if that's something that puts you off, you might want to steer clear. Everything else is just egregious fluff.
> 
> Title from, yes, the Wallace & Gromit movie of the same name. I have none regrets.

**me**  
oh my god  
why do these things happen to me all the time, i don’t understand, am i cursed? do twinks imprint on me?

**bucky**  
ok i was full on prepared 2 yell at u 4 waking me but i gotta hear this

**me**  
ok so there i am minding my business omw to life drawing class when this guy full-out runs up to me  
and tells me to take off my pants  
and by this guy i mean TONY FUCKING STARK

**bucky**  
…  
steve  
its 8 am  
how do u even DO these things

**me**  
beats tf out of me  
buck what do i do??

**bucky**  
why u asking me??  
wait  
steve  
r u in fact wearing ur pants rn

**me**  
well

**bucky**  
wait no  
i changed my mind i don’t wanna kno

**me**  
shut up, he looked desperate  
you know how his hair gets bird’s nest wild

**bucky**  
ur crush is sickening n i want no part in this  


**me**  
it’s really cute  
bucky, that’s not being a supportive best friend.

**bucky**  
first of all how dare u  
second of all i fully support u n will be the first to cheer when u actually ask him out/bang him  
giving him ur pants off ur own ass when he asks is just desperate steve  
wait  
im already regretting asking this but  
did u jsut drop trou in the middle of the quad  
oh my god DID HE

**me**  
BUCKY  
no i did not  
we adjourned to the closest bathroom where we exchanged pants, it was perfectly civilised and proper

**bucky**  
OH PERFECTLY SURE  
DID U SEE HIS DICK

**me**  
JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES

**bucky**  
u standing there yelling my name in chat is not answering my question steve

**me**  
…  
kinda

**bucky**  
HO BOY 

**me**  
stoooop  
i’m not a pervert! i closed my eyes and turned away and everything

**bucky**  
sure as soon as u got an eyeful of the crown jewels u did

**me**  
why do i even talk to you  
all you do is embarrass me

**bucky**  
gotta tell ya u do a great enough job of that urself there fella  
also bc i’m ur best friend n ud be lost without me  
when r u seeing him again  
to, ahem, return the borrowed items  
wait  
why tf did he need ur pants anyway  
r u sure this isnt just a ploy to ask u out

**me**  
uh, yeah  
he said he had chem lab and he was wearing shorts, you know you’re not allowed in the lab like that

**bucky**  
ohhhh ok i buy it  
esp if he had prof k  
so??

**me**  
...so what

**bucky**  
so when r u seeing him to get ur pants back?  
u r rnt u  
its the PERFECT OPPORTUNITY

**me**  
bucky this isn’t a romance novel

**bucky**  
how the hell wud u kno  
last time s/o tried 2 ask u out u thot theyd genuinely lost their dog n spent 2 hrs looking 4 it

**me**  
how you have a 4.0 in eng lit i will never understand

**bucky**  
steve  
focus  
this isnt abt txt spk weve had this convo b4. neway english is a living language tht evolves

**me**  
you’re absolutely doing this on purpose now  
this is an actual crisis wtf do i do buck

**bucky**  
first of all chill  
second of all mb consider breathing  
third of all tell me u got his number or i will smack u so hard

**me**  
i got it :)

**bucky**  
YEAH  
ATTA BOY

**me**  
actually he texted me already  
he wants to meet up to return them, says he owes me one

**bucky**  
uh hello he does??  
NOWS UR CHANCE  
ASK HIM 2 BUY U COFFEE  
do not ask him 2 buy u food  
actually u kno what do it hes rich enough

**me**  
sigh  
i’m going into class now  
i’ll see you later, buck

**bucky**  
yeah pal  
dont think this is over we gonna talk abt this

**me**  
BYE

**bucky**  
chkn

\--------

**me**  
hey

**pants**  
did you just ‘hey’ me?

**me**  
gmme a brk bn up snc 7

**pants**  
oh my god you’re worse than bucky  
can you maybe make actual words out of letters?

**me**  
sry gramps  
only so mny mins in a day

**pants**  
did you want something or?

**me**  
u kno ur kinda rude 4 s/o whs pants i have in my posession

**pants**  
oh so you can make words  
good to know, for a second i wondered if your reputation as a genius was just people sucking up to you

**me**  
1st of all RUDE  
2nd of all thrs def sm of tht but  
& this is important  
not ALL of it

**pants**  
uh huh. not sure how much of that i believe.

**me**  
blive wat u like not lk i can stop u

**pants**  
okay, that was rude, i’m sorry

**me**  
its fine  
neway listen i owe u one lk srsly  
wat can i do 4 u  
i can throw in sm cash if u lk

**pants**  
tony, i don’t want your money. i was kinda just looking to get my pants back. i like those, they’re comfortable. 

**me**  
cute

**pants**  
also they’re no use to you, how many times did you have to roll up the legs? four? five?

**me**  
ok NOT CUTE  
u shd b nice 2 me  
wat if i dump them n u nvr c them again 

**pants**  
i’ll be heartbroken, certainly, but i’ll find the will to keep living somehow.

**me**  
ur kinda salty ne1 evr tell u that?

**pants**  
actually, you’d be surprised.

**me**  
huh  
well listen not tht im not enjoying this but i got like 6 assignments due in the nxt 2 days so i gotta bounce  
not sure how much daylight im gonna b cing netime sn so  
listen whr r u rn?

**pants**  
dorm. but i have an ethics class in about half an hour.

**me**  
*half an hour*  
who evn r u  
in bldg 2c rite?

**pants**  
yup.

**me**  
ok can u wait outside 4 lk 5 mins whn u get thr i’m sending dume

**pants**  
dume? like hume?

**me**  
no like dummy

**pants**  
oh. 

**me**  
ur thinking rn i just insulted sm1 rnt u

**pants**  
well what else am i supposed to think?

**me**  
wait n c

**pants**  
this isn’t mysterious or murder-y at all.

**me**  
hahaha  
ur in public ull b fine

\-------

**pants**  
okay that took a turn, i admit i wasn’t expecting that at all  
dummy is so cute omg  
with his little pincer hand i can’t  
this whole thing was worth it just to meet him

**me**  
omg do u wake up just 2 B RUDE  
wht am i chopped liver

**pants**  
tony, i’m sorry to break this to you, i’ll try to be gentle but  
you’re nowhere near as cute as your robot friend.

**me**  
wow ur breaking up w me already thts a record its only bn 9hrs

**pants**  
i think i just sprained something with how hard i rolled my eyes  
it’s ok, your debt is repaid in full, you’re welcome, our transaction has been completed, etc. you can go back to being an evil genius now.  
but. it’s been fun. and if you wanted to do it again, i would not be opposed.

**me**  
uh  
the pants part? pls tell me u meant th pants part

**pants**  
was thinking more the talking part  
but i guess if you wanted to not wear pants for that… i wouldn’t object.

**me**  
…  
i cant tell if ur flirting w me or if its just wishful thinking on my part

**pants**  
um, the… former? very badly, apparently.

**me**  
NO  
no its not bad  
its cute  
i said ur cute already rite  
my cards r on the table  
my pants are negotiable

**pants**  
you could even say they’re trans-pant-able.

**me**  
OH MY ACTUAL GOD  
ABSOLUTELY NO  
THT WAS TERRIBLE  
THE WORST  
I LOVE IT??  
WAT IS WRONG W ME

**pants**  
i’d say where do you want me to start but i’m actively working on not being an ass over text anymore  
i guess you just bring it out in me

**me**  
c tht last bit thr? ur failing tht mission captain

**pants**  
i’ll just have to work harder then. get more practice. wanna take one for the team and help me out with that?  
say, on saturday around 6pm?  
if your genius schedule permits, of course.

**me**  
wow  
wow tht was SMOOTH  
i was not expecting that frm u mr sasspants

**pants**  
hey now  
also: not wrong. i guess you bring that out in me too.

**me**  
i dont knw abt this  
like  
ur v cute  
also hot  
it wld NOT b a hardship  
2 look at u, idk abt spking

**pants**  
wow ok  
let’s just forget it, i’m sorry i asked

**me**  
WAIT NO  
u interrupted me  
wht i WANTED to say was  
r u sure u wanna spend more time w me? im def not as cute as dume u had tht rite  
also i say a lot of shit  
see re: above

**pants**  
uh

**me**  
also i talk abt science like a lot?  
i havnt cn a tv for lk a yr  
nvmd movies n stuff  
i cant make small talk is wat im trying (badly) 2 say  
ull b bored

**pants**  
why don’t you let me be the judge of that?  
but seriously for a second, if you don’t want to you can just say no. i’m not into forced consent, like, at all. you don’t owe me this.

**me**  
uh i know that?  
also i just wanna say ftr tht consent is sexy

**pants**  
consent is sexy. look at that, something we agree on.

**me**  
color me shocked  
so lk. we have a date?

**pants**  
yeah. we have a date. :)

**me**  
how r u so CUTE idgi

**pants**  
i guess you’ll just have to wait and find out for yourself. :)

**me**  
also? HOT. js  
c u saturday cap

\-------

**me**  
morning :)  
i had fun last nite  
cant help but notice tho tht ur pants r still in my room ;)

**pants**  
good morning, Tony :)  
i had fun too :)  
well, funny story, but i forgot them? just slipped my mind for some reason. any chance i can see you again to get them back for real this time?

**me**  
steve  
r u asking me 4 a 2nd date n going abt it in a rly weird way?

**pants**  
….no?  
yes.  
sorry.  
we don’t have to if you’d rather not.

**me**  
omg  
not 2 brite tho  
steve ffs of course i wanna c u again wtf  
ur hot n sweet n CUTE n RLY HOT n i like u. prob 2 much frm only having met u 2ce.  
\+ its bn a while snc i made it 2 a 2nd date  
u sure u want 2?

**pants**  
Tony, i asked you. yes. i want to see you again. and again. and probably some more after that, if you want.

**me**  
cool  
cool cool cool  
thats. cool. yeah. lets do it.

**pants**  
cool. :)

**me**  
RUDE  
jk its cool :*

\-------

**me**  
babe  
i gotta tell u smth  
i kno were kinda new  
n i hope its not a dealbkr 4u  
but  
im keeping the pants.


End file.
